Pintsized Ninjas Pack the Same Punch
by catherine ampere
Summary: A collection of one-shot, stand alone prompts that I've decided to publish here. Lots of future family fluff.
1. Death

**Hey there!**

**I am diligently working on Chapter 13 of OHJD. I haven't forgotten about it.**

**In the meantime, a few of my dear friends have suggested I publish a collection of the future fluffy one-shot prompts I've written for Tumblr. If you follow me on there, you've probably read these already, and if not, I hope you enjoy! **

* * *

><p><em>Tony and Ziva - Death<em>

The four of them huddled around the pile of dirt; It marred the otherwise spotless expanse of green. They each held a flower and bowed their heads.

"Who wants to go first?"

Three heads turned to face him, but only Ziva spoke.

"Why don't _you_, Tony?" she suggested in a solemn tone. "I think it would mean a lot to us if you did."

He nodded and cleared his throat.

"Chester was the best," he began. "He had a playful spirit and always liked to eat."

Tony placed his daisy on the mound and ignored the popping noise his knees made as he stood straight.

"I will go next," Ziva offered kindly. "Chester was so friendly, and he never caused any trouble."

Tony coughed beside her in protest, but she stomped down on his toe to silence him.

"It's my turn," a little voice interjected.

Tony nodded.

"Go on, Princess."

She cleared her throat, just like her Daddy had done, and spoke in her clearest tone.

"Chester was the softest bunny ever. He always let me snuggle with him. I'm gonna miss his big floppy ears," she sniffed and placed her flower on the makeshift grave.

Tony picked up the little girl and kissed her cheek.

"You did a good job, Ava."

She buried her head in the crook of her father's shoulder and he hugged her tightly.

"Caleb," Ziva spoke softly, "would you like to say goodbye to Chester?"

The taller of the two children hesitated, but Ziva gently grabbed his hand.

"My love, I think Chester would want you to say something."

The boy, barely two years older than his sister, stepped forward to speak.

"Goodbye, Chester. I'm really gonna miss you. You were my best friend."

He put his daisy right in the middle and allowed his mother to wrap her arm around his shoulder.

Later that night, Tony found Caleb in his room drawing. He joined him on the bed and looked at his son's artwork.

"I'm really sorry about Chester, bud. I know you really loved him."

He looked up at his father with big, doleful eyes and bit his lip.

"Daddy, is it okay for boys to cry?"

"Sure it is, if you're really upset about something. Of course you can cry."

He crawled into his father's lap and let the tears fall.


	2. Vrooom

**Tony and Ziva - Vrooom**

* * *

><p>"Are you sure it is assembled the right way?"<p>

He looked at the bed and back at her.

"Trust me, I got it."

She snorted.

"You did not set up the crib properly," she reminded him as she placed some toys on the shelf, "and if only for Gibbs I cannot be sure that it wouldn't have fallen down with Shai in it."

Tony waved a hand dismissively.

"They forgot a screw. Not my fault. And the directions were in Hebrew, give me a break."

"They were in English on the back!"

He nodded contemplatively.

"Well, I guess you got me there. I just assumed, you know, Israeli furniture, Hebrew directions," he shrugged. "Gibbs's crib was better anyway."

She couldn't argue with him there. They'd purchased a crib from her favorite designer in Tel Aviv before finding out that Gibbs had been building one from scratch as a surprise. Everything fell into place when they realized their imported crib was missing pieces. Call it a happy coincidence, Tony had said.

"His friends will be so jealous," he gushed.

Ziva laughed and checked her watch.

"He should be home any minute."

When the doorbell rang, Tony looked at her in astonishment.

"How did you do that?"

She winked.

"I heard a car door slam."

He whispered, "crazy ninja" under his breath and grunted when a fist knocked him playfully in the stomach.

Ziva's laugh echoed in the hall as she left to answer the door. Abby and a very hyper Shai greeted her on the doorstep.

"Hey, Mommy," he chirped. "Hey, baby."

He gently tapped Ziva's small belly as he entered their home. He took off his jacket and shoes and looked around the quiet living room.

"Where's Dad?"

She smiled.

"Why don't you go find out?"

He ran off and Abby laughed as she closed the door behind her.

"Did he set it up right?"

Ziva laughed.

"I asked him the same thing. He was not amused."

Shai's cheers erupted seconds later.

"Mommy!" he shouted.

Abby and Ziva followed the sound of excitement to his room. The little boy tackled his mother's legs as she entered, and she leaned against the door frame to steady herself.

"Do you like it, Tatelah?"

"It's so cool!" he gushed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Happy birthday, bud," Tony smiled. "We figured five was pretty important. You're only ninety-five years away from being a hundred."

Abby and Ziva rolled their eyes, but his comment set Shai into another fit of giggles. He was always his dad's biggest fan.

"You know, I had a bed like this when I was your age."

Shai's eyes lit up.

"Really?"

Tony nodded. He continued playing with its steering wheel as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Just like this."

Shai whispered, "wow" as he ran his fingers along the red plastic. If his dad had one, it _had_ to be cool. He was growing more impatient by the minute—he really needed to try his new bed out.

"Can I play with it now?"

Tony looked startled and realized that he'd been lost in his own nostalgia. He remembered being a kid and he wasn't quite ready to give the memory up yet.

"Uh," he stalled, "give me five more minutes. I just need to make sure I set it up right."

* * *

><p><em>Shai means "gift" in Hebrew.<em>


	3. Gift

**Tony and Ziva - Gift**

* * *

><p>Tony hitched his rambunctious son further on his hip as they walked across the park. He really should've brought the stroller, but the stubborn little boy insisted that he didn't need it.<p>

"Oh my goodness!" a woman exclaimed as they passed by. "He is absolutely gorgeous! Is he yours?"

Tony frowned. While he loved that Noah looked exactly like his mother, it still hurt when strangers questioned his paternity. He tried not to be rude when he responded.

"Yes, he is actually. Noah," he nudged his son, "say hi, buddy."

The little boy's curls flew up as he turned his head. He flashed a toothy grin and batted his long eyelashes.

"Hi."

The woman squawked and cooed at Noah, who loved every ounce of the attention. He laughed as she tickled under his chin and smiled when she told him how cute he was. Tony couldn't help but beam with pride.

It took them a half hour to walk across the park; two more women stopped to play with Noah. Not once did he fail to deliver the charm.

Ziva waited by the ice cream truck with a giant smirk on her face. She'd seen it all, and she couldn't help but be impressed by the four year old's way with the opposite sex.

"Mommy!"

Noah scrambled out of his father's arms and rushed towards Ziva. He crashed right into her legs, nearly knocking her backwards. She scooped him up with ease and laughed.

"Hello, my little man. Did you have fun today?"

He nodded and rambled on about his time with Daddy in the park. By the time Tony had returned with Noah's ice cream cone, he'd fallen asleep on Ziva's shoulder.

"Well that was fast," Tony mused.

She leaned forward and kissed Noah's soft curls.

"Charming women can be exhausting," she smirked. "You should know, since you gave him this delightful trait."

Tony juggled the melting ice cream cone in his hand and licked the sides. He feigned hurt when he looked up at her with a mouth rimmed in chocolate.

"Someone has to bear that cross, Zi. Is it my fault we DiNozzo men were chosen for that task?"

She rolled her eyes and rubbed the chocolate from his mouth with her thumb.

"All I am saying is that you could have waited a few more years before you taught him that he was God's gift to women."

"I didn't teach it. He just knew. He's got your ninja-spidey senses, remember?"

She took a lick from the ice cream cone and adjusted her sleeping son in her arms.

"We are going to raise a Casanova, aren't we?" she groaned.

"Stop saying it like it's a bad thing," he protested. "This is a gift. He's got a real superpower here."

Ziva nodded as she processed his words.

"Well I hope you told Noah that with great power comes great responsibility."

Tony's face lit up and kissed her excitedly.

"I _knew_ you liked those movies. You paid too close attention for someone who couldn't stand them."

She shrugged as they walked towards the car.

"Do not forget, my love. I have a gift, too."

"Which gift exactly are referring to?"

She smirked.

"Pick one. They all apply."

"Our son's gonna be a mini-ninja, isn't he?" he asked cautiously. Living with one ninja was hard enough—could he really handle two?

Ziva patted his cheek.

"Stop saying it like it is a bad thing," she replied in a singsong voice. "He has a gift, remember?"

* * *

><p><strong>Just a reminder, these are all different one-shots. <strong>


	4. Soothe

**Tony and Ziva - Soothe**

* * *

><p>"I do not understand," Ziva groaned. "She has been fed, changed, burped…what is wrong with her?"<p>

She bounced the newborn gently on her shoulder and patted her back.

"Shh, tatelah," she crooned. "You are alright."

Tony effortlessly took the baby from her mother's grasp, hoping the change would disorient her and get her to settle down.

"Can we take the batteries out or something? Maybe there's a reset button."

"I am too tired to understand your jokes," Ziva replied frantically.

She paced around the room, keeping one eye on Tony and their daughter. Vida hadn't stopped crying all night, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her. She was only a week old, but Ziva felt no more confident about her abilities as a mother than she had the moment Vida was born. Surely this was supposed to get easier?

Tony stopped and sighed as Vida's face reddened to a shade darker than ever before. He kissed her forehead and handed her back to Ziva.

"Zi, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should rip my eardrums out or call the Guinness Book of World Records. There's no way another baby has cried longer than she has."

Ziva sat in the rocking chair and hoped the motion would soothe the screaming newborn. She felt tears of frustration and exhaustion sting her own eyes and she tried not to be weak. She was a mother now. She had to be able to settle her own child down.

She hadn't noticed that Tony had disappeared, or that she'd dozed off while Vida continued crying in her arms, till he returned with a smile on his face.

"I cannot believe I am so immune to the sound that I closed my eyes," she admitted guiltily. "I am just so tired."

Tony bent down to give her a reassuring kiss. He took Vida back in his arms and smiled triumphantly.

"Not to worry. I brought in reinforcements."

Before Ziva could question him further, Gibbs entered the nursery and covered his ears.

"Jesus, are you _beating_ the kid? You can hear the howls all the way downstairs."

Ziva burst into tears. The embarrassment of her emotional state only upset her further and she buried her face in her hands.

"Gibbs, I cannot…she hasn't stopped crying for hours. She has barely slept for two days. _We_ have barely slept for two days. What are we doing wrong?"

He gestured for the baby and Tony willingly handed her over. Tony winced as he received a head slap.

"I can't slap Ziva, she's falling to pieces over there. You'll have to take it. And that's what you get for calling me, anyway."

They knew he wasn't serious, but neither felt very confident about their parenting skills. Tony put his arm around Ziva and tried to make her feel better, but he wasn't doing the best job—he felt pretty doubtful himself.

Gibbs bounced Vida on his shoulder, just like Ziva had done, and cooed in her ear. He gave the baby a pacifier out of his pocket. It took only minutes before silence filled the nursery. Tony and Ziva blinked at each other in disbelief; they forgot what it sounded like to hear absolutely nothing.

"Did you put her in a sleeper hold or something?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes at Tony. He continued rubbing Vida's back and walked around in circles.

"She's colicky," he shrugged. "You're not doing anything wrong. She just likes to cry. She probably got that from you, DiNozzo."

Ziva released a small laugh, afraid of waking her daughter. It still astounded her that the newborn had finally knocked herself out.

"I bet he steeped that pacifier in bourbon," Tony whispered in her ear.

She shoved him with her elbow but secretly wondered herself if their daughter was drunk.

"For some reason, this brand always worked on Kelly, too. They're a little different from the ones we used, but I think it's still similar enough."

Tony and Ziva exchanged a look as they watched Gibbs stare adoringly at the little one in his arms. They could see so much love on his face, and they knew Vida was lucky to have him in her life.

"So, uh, when can you move in?"

"What?" Gibbs barked.

"You're so good with her. We might need you here all the time."

Gibbs laughed.

"You'll get used to it. She's only a week old."

"We can move Vida in with us and you can take her nursery," Ziva added helpfully. "You can build a boat in the backyard if you want."

"It might be easier for you to get out," Tony interjected.

Gibbs smirked at the two frazzled parents.

"Get some sleep," he jerked his head towards the door. "I'll stay the night."

Ziva shook her head.

"Gibbs, we could not…"

"That's an order, David. Hop to it. Give me some time alone with my granddaughter. You two look like the walking dead, anyway."

Ziva kissed his cheek as she passed by and gently stroked her daughter's head.

"Sweet dreams, Tatelah. See you in the morning. Mommy will be less cranky, I promise."

Tony whispered, "Thanks, Boss," and kissed his daughter's soft cheek.

"Night, Princess. Tomorrow we'll buy more of those bourbon pacifiers your grandpa Gibbs is hiding in his basment."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs warned. "I will hit you again."

Tony feigned shock.

"In front of my daughter? Are you going to expose her to such violent behavior so early in her impressionable life?"

"You have two seconds to get out of here."

"Going, Boss. Thanks again."

He darted out of the nursery after Ziva, only to find her already passed out on top of the covers.

He wrapped an arm around her and she stirred.

"Where's Vida?" she mumbled.

"Shh, go back to sleep. Her fairy grandfather's taking care of things."

Tony didn't bother explaining it; Ziva's snores filled the room a few seconds later.

He smiled to himself. _That_ was a sound he could sleep through.


End file.
